Trusting God to provide all we need, even when it looks like that trust will cost us.
June 2018
“Buy some furniture and call us back.”– That’s what the SNAP (aka ‘Food Stamps’) representative told my wife over the phone. We just learned we lost $280 in monthly food stamp assistance. The reason? We had too much money in our saving account.
What’s the suggested solution? Blow through our ‘Dave Ramsey’ 6-Month Emergency Fund with purchases we don’t need. Then call back when we have less money in our bank account.
Rewind – March 21, 2013
It’s Thursday morning. My pregnant wife and I sit in my parents’ kitchen, pouring over income eligibility requirements for various government assistance programs: SNAP, Medicaid, ACA (‘Obamacare’) insurance, etc. Wednesday night we interviewed with a church board about a job as lead pastor.
The church leadership had already decided to close and offer the facilities to another church. But that plan suddenly fell through and, eight days later, I became the Pastor. [Eventually, our church did close. We’re now preparing to restart as Renovation Community.]
We clearly felt God calling us to leave Kansas City and begin serving this dying church. But we didn’t see how our family could survive without receiving government assistance. Since then, our children have been on Medicaid and we received food stamps.
December 31, 2017
I received my last-ever paycheck from my second job. I had worked a second job the entire time I’d been a pastor. But that second job finally ended and, with it, a $500/month wage. But my wonderful wife helped us tighten our family budget so we barely missed that second income. (Ok…our family’s Chief Budget Officer might disagree with that last sentence).
Tuesday – July 24, 2018
A $500 check arrived in the mail on Monday. Checks arrive in the mail quite often around here. Two weeks ago our church received an unrequested $20,000 (yes, $20,000!) check. We’ll use it to cover long-overdue facilities repairs and salary for our longtime volunteer pastor. But all the previous checks we have received are either clearly for the church OR clearly for my family’s personal needs.
This check on Monday is confusing; it’s made out to me, but the memo line says it’s for our church’s summer day camp and feeding program.
I call Tuesday to thank the donors and carefully investigate where they intended us to use their donation. It turns out the donors addressed the check to me because they couldn’t remember our new church’s name.
So the check is for the church, not my family. Difficult news for my wife when we’re already over-budget on groceries. I hang up the phone.
In the silence, my mind lingers over this information. The check is addressed to me. So I could cash it at the bank. If this generous person’s check supports the pastor, the gift is still, ultimately, supporting the church.
God gives me the strength to quickly text our treasurer the truth…a $500 check addressed to me was actually meant for the church and will go in the offering plate on Sunday.
Saturday Morning – July 28, 2018
Our two boys had a slumber party at grandparents. My wife and I take advantage of the child-free morning with a walk along the Trinity River. Eventually, our slim family budget takes over the conversation. It takes over the walk, the car ride home, and our next hour on the couch.
Should I find a second job?
Can we tighten our budget anymore?
Should I ask the church for a raise?
How can we get that Food Stamps money back?
Is it a wise financial decision to work for a church and host large ministries for the poor if we don’t have enough grocery money?
Is ‘waiting to see what God wants me to do’ a cop-out, given our tight our budget is? Should I act immediately?
My health isn’t good; how would a second job affect my energy levels for my family and church responsibilities?
I already take on more than I can handle (as I write this, I’m sick from juggling a painting project at a nearby elementary school, renovating a formerly homeless church member’s new home, and hosting our summer day camp). How can I possibly add one more task to my plate?
We finish the conversation at 11:50am. I have a special prayer journal I keep for ‘big’ prayer requests. I quickly jot down a prayer for God to give us a large financial gift.
Saturday, 1:00pm – July 28, 2018
Random questions begin arriving via text from a friend out-of-state.
‘Would you rather have a one-time gift for a certain amount of money or receive a recurring monthly donation continuing for an undetermined amount of time in the future?’
‘I want to give you money.’
‘Do you have a need right now?’
I tell my friend I only share needs with God and strive to never interfere with how God’s Spirit may direct someone to give.
My frustrated friend has to make decisions about his donation with absolutely no help from me.
He finally decides and sends me this text: “If it doesn’t come through, let me know. Should be a one-time $500 gift and $100 monthly recurring gift.”
That last text message arrived at 1:20pm, exactly 1.5 hours after my wife and I finished our stressful budget conversation.
Sunday evening, July 29, 2018
I gave that $500 check to our church treasurer.
After our worship service, I begin counseling a church member on personal finance. My counsel-turned-sermon addresses the freedom we feel when we relinquish all financial control to God.
I shared a story from a few weeks ago about turning down a job opportunity over lunch…
An old acquaintance toured our church’s summer day camp and then took me to lunch. As we left the parking lot, he asked where I’d like to eat.
This entire meeting, tour, and lunch was his idea, not mine. So, I explain to the church member, I felt no pressure to pay for our meal. I was, quite literally, just along for the ride.
I explained it feels the same way when we allow God to control all aspects of life. Of course God will provide for my needs if He wants me to serve at this church. I need only to follow his will and make sure I spend HIS money in ways that honor him. If it’s God’s will, he’ll pay the bill.
Jesus, I Am Resting, Resting
By Sunday night I felt exhausted. Exhausted from preaching. Exhausted counseling. Exhausted from speaking at an orientation for this week’s visiting youth group here at our day camp. My mind, soul, and body needed rest.
Our church’s summer day camp and feeding program, Camp FUSE, is 9 weeks, 5 days a week, 10.5 hours a day. The current small group of people who call Renovation Community their church home couldn’t pull it off without visiting summer youth groups and summer interns.
In addition to working long hours, our interns have to read…a lot. One of their assigned books is a biography on Hudson Taylor, British missionary to China and founder of the China Inland Mission. Before ever stepping foot on foreign soil, Taylor prepared himself for future hardships by practicing various forms of fasting.
He fasted from all but the simplest and cheapest food, fasted from warm clothing, fasted from using comfortable sleeping mattresses, fasted from using enough coal to actually keep his small apartment warm in the winter, and fasted from asking anyone other than God for financial assistance.
Taylor worked for a doctor who regularly forgot to pay his one employee in a timely manner. But Taylor always entrusted the man’s memory to God, alone.
I’ve just finished another Sunday night without asking church leadership for a raise. In five years of service, I’ve never asked for a raise.
Hudson Taylor’s favorite hymn, “Jesus, I Am Resting, Resting” played on repeat in my head all day, and most of the week [included at the end]. I enter our quiet parsonage. Our boys are asleep. Most of the lights are out. My wife is already in bed.
I walk into the kitchen. The light over the sink shines on my weekly paycheck resting on the counter. Next to it is another check for $1,100.00. In the memo line, our treasurer’s handwriting reads “$1,000 Bonus, $100/month salary increase.”
Freedom, Not Furniture
After five years of serving the poor in our church’s neighborhood, I’ve met hundreds of people who receive some sort of government assistance. It is a wonderful blessing to many, including my family.
But I’ve also seen a few recipients embrace a mentality and lifestyle of Enslavement to that assistance. The longer they receive government assistance, the more difficult it is for these few to believe in Divine Assistance.
Their High Priests become the employees in the Benefits offices, like the woman who told my wife to make ourselves poorer by spending money on furniture we don’t need. Truly, you cannot serve both God and money.
The God of the Bible teaches us to spend money wisely. The Book of Proverbs especially teaches us to save and work hard. But Scripture is also abundantly clear that my hard work, a Savings account, and Food Stamps don’t ultimately pay my bills. God pays my bills.
The Bible also teaches I have Freedom because of Jesus Christ’s atoning work. The Apostle Paul, an early church leader, wrote to a group of Christians in the ancient territory of Galatia (modern Turkey). Paul explained, “For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery” (Galatians 5:1).
Paul’s words remind me about the freedom I have in Christ, including financial freedom. I am free to follow Christ wherever he leads. If following Christ leads me away from receiving government assistance, he will provide means some other way along the journey
Christ may choose to provide for my family in any way he chooses, including from friends out-of-state and generous church leaders.
Christ is my High Priest, not some faceless government employee.
Christ offers freedom.
I choose Freedom, not Furniture.
Jesus, I Am Resting, Resting
Verse 1
Jesus, I am resting, resting,
In the joy of what Thou art;
I am finding out the greatness
Of Thy loving heart.
Thou hast bid me gaze upon Thee,
And Thy beauty fills my soul,
For by Thy transforming power,
Thou hast made me whole.
Verse 2
Oh, how great Thy loving kindness,
Vaster, broader than the sea!
Oh, how marvelous Thy goodness,
Lavished all on me!
Yes, I rest in Thee, Beloved,
Know what wealth of grace is Thine,
Know Thy certainty of promise,
And have made it mine.
Verse 3
Simply trusting Thee, Lord Jesus,
I behold Thee as Thou art,
And Thy love, so pure, so changeless,
Satisfies my heart;
Satisfies its deepest longings,
Meets, supplies its every need,
Compasseth me round with blessings:
Thine is love indeed!
Verse 4
Ever lift Thy face upon me
As I work and wait for Thee;
Resting ’neath Thy smile, Lord Jesus,
Earth’s dark shadows flee.
Brightness of my Father’s glory,
Sunshine of my Father’s face,
Keep me ever trusting, resting,
Fill me with Thy grace.
Refrain
Jesus, I am resting, resting,
In the joy of what Thou art;
I am finding out the greatness
Of Thy loving heart.
–Jesus, I Am Resting, Resting
Jean Sophia Pigott, 1876
Photo Credit: Federica Campanaro