“Are you going to keep looking for other sheep or will you faithfully shepherd the people God gives you?” —words from a veteran pastor to me in early spring 2014.
***
Though Kelly and I didn’t move to Fort Worth and begin serving in-person until June 2013, I officially became the pastor of (what is now called) Renovation Community 10 years ago today. I’ll never forget those words shortly after the Palm Sunday worship service March 24, 2013 when I heard, “Congratulations, you’re the new pastor.” This milestone has caused a longwinded reflection on the last decade…
I was hot stuff when I started pastoring 10 years ago. With 2 ministry degrees, I knew A LOT. Anything I didn’t know, I could quickly research to answer.
Basically, with my formal training, intellect, and sheer awesomeness, I’d have this long-struggling congregation turned around in no time.
I was a self-righteous, arrogant punk. And my Heavenly Father didn’t want some self-righteous, arrogant punk leading a 50+ year congregation that was near to His heart.
So He humbled me.
Pick any area of my life— marriage, church, church finances, family finances, parenting, physical health, mental health— it was failing.
My intellect wasn’t saving our church or anything about my life. And my sin was making it all worse.
Furthermore, I resented the types of people God kept bringing to our church. The ‘Church Growth’ experts told me the types of church attendees we needed to grow in a big city: stable, educated, tech-savvy, healthy, middle-class young families, preferably with white collar jobs that gave them Paid Leave, Vacation, and Benefits [because they have ample money, skills, volunteer time, and are usually off on Sundays]. And it certainly would make things easier if they had a church background, so they won’t need to be taught as much about how “churchy” things work.
But God kept bringing us unchurched, unstable, poor (even homeless), physically and/or mentally unhealthy single people who couldn’t keep jobs or often worked low-paying weekend shifts. Many were not ready-made ministry leaders and could hardly pay their bills (not a way to build a strong giving base). Meanwhile the stable, tithing church members slowly drifted into other congregations.
And a whole host of people never attended our worship services but began viewing us like a Rescue Mission.
‘Would I keep looking for other sheep or faithfully shepherd whatever people God gave me?’
Almost 10 years later, you know the path I chose…
In the last few days, as our church’s most visible representative, I’ve:
-spoken with 4 moms, each leaving toxic and abusive relationships, who now or very soon will need housing.
-received a photo from one of those moms of her ex-boyfriend. She placed a restraining order against him; I asked for his picture in case I saw him being where he shouldn’t.
-given food and water to chronically homeless men at our doors.
-counseled an understandably-concerned young mom I’ve never met who has a homeless Addict living on the other side of her backyard chain link fence.
-given multiple rides.
-paid small bills.
-provided shelter.
-reminded a homeless friend at an intersection about our weekly Dinner Church.
-given clothing, toys, and several household goods to two single moms.
-organized delivery of a donated couch to those moms.
-shared job information with the jobless.
-helped a church member in the hospital who has no family within a quick drive to his home.
-prayed with numerous people who attend no church and openly share that, if they did attend church, they wouldn’t feel comfortable in any other than ours.
-facilitated a new professional Counseling ministry that provides services far below market rates.
-had multiple meetings with leaders from another church looking for a new place to worship; they can’t really afford the rate hikes there if their lease renews.
He is faithful. God has never once failed us as we give to those who cannot repay and invest in those who don’t show some sort of “return on investment,” as some Church Growth strategists crassly put it.
And since God began to humble me as a new pastor in 2013, I have learned:
-God doesn’t need my supposed “knowledge” to accomplish His mission.
-I don’t know how to numerically grow a church like I thought. 🙂
–I most desperately need God’s Spirit, not knowledge, to sustain me every hour of my life.
-though my upbringing and outward behavior may be different from some whom I serve, I desperately need my Savior’s mercy, forgiveness, and guidance as much as they do.
-much of my good fortune in life has more to do with an upbringing I did not choose than from choices I intentionally made.
-that Christ builds His Church with people the world (and even many Christians) often overlook and intentionally avoid.
-that I am blessed beyond measure to follow a Good Shepherd who washed dirty feet and laid down His life for the flock.
To those of you who have prayed, encouraged, financially supported, and volunteered,
Thank you.
You are the human tools our loving God has used to sustain work among people He loves here in southwest Fort Worth.
And to my District Superintendent and the tiny, elderly congregation and church board (many of whom have since passed away) of “Grace Tabernacle Church of the Nazarene” who entrusted leadership to this self-righteous, arrogant punk 10 years ago,
Thank you.
And to all who, for any length of time, have allowed me to be your pastor,
Thank you. Thank you for your patience during my countless mistakes, love, prayers, and support, you have shown to my family and me. It has been an honor to worship with you and serve you as Christ serves us.
***
“To the elders among you, I appeal as a fellow elder and a witness of Christ’s sufferings who also will share in the glory to be revealed: Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, watching over them—not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not pursuing dishonest gain, but eager to serve; not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock. And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away.” (1 Peter 5:1-4)
“But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” Submit yourselves, then, to God.” (James 4:6-7a)
“So you also, when you have done everything you were told to do, should say, ‘We are unworthy servants; we have only done our duty.’” (Luke 17:10)