Tag: homeless

Worthy of Respect

The doorbell rang tonight while I was getting our boys ready for bed. It was the homeless friend I’ve known for almost 7 years. On the front porch, I learn he’s been sick in the hospital twice since Thanksgiving. He’s still recovering from his last illness.

Many people on the streets tell me what they think I want to hear. But this man has always treated me with refreshing honesty. He’s honest about all his darkest struggles, honest about wanting to stay on the streets, and open about his own self-hatred. He doesn’t like the man he’s become.

My friend is a talker 😀
Our 3-year-old comes looking for me. “Hi Mr. ________.”
The boys know this man. Our youngest asks about him when we drive. Our oldest prays for him at night.
Now dressed for bed, the boys put on slippers and played out front as I heard stories from my friend’s hospital stay. He smiled as they ran around; our 3-year-old talked to him about his shoes.

Our family has a strict policy against opening our front door when I’m not home.
You learn the importance of “boundaries” when serving the chronically homeless. We teach our boys safety. But we’ve also taught them that homeless people are just that…people, not monsters to be feared.
And so, when Daddy’s around, our boys play near this homeless man and speak to him without fear, the same way they would speak to any saintly grandmother in our church.

He asked for a shower. We walk over to Renovation Community’s gym door by our Parsonage front yard. Our boys run inside the gym and continue playing for a while. We eventually leave for bed, locking my friend inside the empty building.
At the door both boys yell, “Bye Mr. ________.” He smiles and says a quiet goodbye.

This man may not respect himself. But tonight two little pastor’s kids reminded him he is worthy of respect.

“Show proper respect to everyone…” 1 Peter 2:17

He Knows My Name, So I Learn Theirs

 

man-with-cap-and-beard
We were backing out of the garage one morning when we saw a man walking to the bus stop. We turned right  on the major road beside our house. At an intersection, we saw another man crossing the road. My 3-year-old asked, “who’s that, Daddy?”
We saw two men, but my son only assumed I knew one of them. Both were the same ethnicity. Both were wearing jeans and a t-shirt. One looked like he would spend his day at a workplace with minimal dress code. The other man looked like he’d worn those clothes for weeks. One was homeless. The other looked like he had a job and a place to call home.
Interesting…my 3-year-old has already learned to guess who is homeless by their clothing. Even more interesting? My son assumes I know any homeless person we see.

Two weeks ago, a homeless man I’ve known for 3 years attended our church’s Sunday morning service. He was sober the entire service. About 3 minutes after he left our service, a deacon from a church that rents our main sanctuary came to find me. I was at home with a dozen other church leaders. I was about to start an important meeting.

The deacon (who knows the homeless man’s alcoholic past) says my friend is extremely drunk and had just been escorted out the front door. “Impossible,” I reply. I leave our church leaders to wait at my house as I walk to the main building. Someone else stops me and I’m caught up in a conversation. A minute later, another usher says people found my friend having a seizure in overflow parking across the street. They called 911. I walk across the street.
Several people stand gathered around him as he sits on the pavement. No one standing around knew who he was. I walk to my friend still sitting the ground and say his name. One of the passersby then asks me, “You know this man?”

I send a text to cancel the important meeting. The seizure temporarily disabled my friend’s speech abilities. He needs someone with him who knows his name. I know some of his medical history. I should share what I know with the paramedics.

My 3-year-old and our 100-pound chocolate lab are walking at the park by our church. We see the same man I’ve seen countless times in our area. Whenever he’s at the park, he’s always alone at the same picnic table. It’s the picnic table farthest away from people. Several bags lay around him. The man is wearing the same clothes I’ve seen him wear since July. He never talks to anyone. We’ve made two laps around the park and no one has yet spoken to him. Not even the other guys from the street know him, and that’s very unusual. It seems he is a true Loner.

I decide to introduce myself. I push the stroller off the walking path towards the picnic table. Even in the open air and with a light breeze, his odor is strong. A half-eaten box of iced Halloween cookies from the grocery store sits on the table. Halloween was last week. Guys on the street know store employees sometimes give away expired food to them instead of throwing it in the dumpster at night. I give him a big smile. His smile is weak and unsure.

He’s probably wondering if I’m just one more parent who will shew him away from the children. I introduce myself, my son, and our dog to him. He tells me his name but barely makes eye contact. I explain I decided to say hi since I see him so often. He nods. I ask him if he’s living on the streets. He extends his arm and says  “over there,” pointing towards a neighborhood filled with $200,000-250,000 homes. He mumbles something about saving money to buy a car. I say goodbye and we continue our walk.

During our short conversation, and the rest of our time at the park, the man keeps rubbing a shaving razor against his stubble. It reminds me of my sleepy son rubbing his luvee (a miniature blanket topped with a stuffed animal’s head) against his face. He’s not really shaving, just rubbing it against his face.

As I push the stroller around the walking path, my son asks why the man was sitting at the park.

“He’s homeless.”

“Homeless? What’s that?”

“It means he doesn’t have a home.”

“Why doesn’t he have a home?”

“I don’t know.”

“Oh. Okay. Can we play now?”

Before leaving, I loudly yell goodbye to the man from across the playground. I’m loud on purpose. I want other parents to hear me. It’s my way of saying, “This homeless man has a name and is not someone you should fear.” I hope other parents at the playground will see me, a white man with my All-American family dog and a pre-schooler, talking to this awkward black homeless man on the bench.

I hope my conversation with him encourages other parents to start conversations, instead of casting suspicious stares.  At the very least, I hope it discourages others from reporting him to the police for loitering.
Back at the house my son says, “Daddy, tell Mommy about the man at the picnic table.”

“Who is that man, Daddy?”

“That’s _________, son.”


“You know this man?”

“Yeah, I know _________. He’s my friend. He attended our church this morning.”


“Daddy, tell Mommy about the man at the picnic table.”

“We met ____________ today at the park.”

 

In the New Testament, the Gospel of Luke tells a story about Zacchaeus. I can’t type his name without thinking of the children’s church song describing him as a “wee little man.” He heard Jesus was on his way and wanted to see him. But Zacchaeus was short and couldn’t see Jesus over the crowds. So he climbed a tree. When Jesus came to the tree, “he looked up and said to him, “Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today” ” (Luke 19:5). Verse 7 says,  “All the people saw this and began to mutter, “He [Jesus] has gone to be the guest of a sinner.” He calls the notorious tax collector by name and invites himself to dinner.

I’m sure everyone in town knew Zacchaeus’s name. Many families living there had to interact with him, or one of his employees, when they paid taxes. But hated people like Zacchaeus are often called by more…colorful terms. Ask a homeless person all the hateful names thrown at them. But Jesus has no use for the mean terms and labels of this world. He simply addresses Zacchaeus by his name.

I’m also sure plenty of taller people on that day knew Zacchaeus was trying to get a peek at Jesus. How do you not notice when a notorious and hated tax cheat is standing in your presence?? But they probably did what we do with “distasteful” people in our society today, we pretend they aren’t there. If you pretend the “wee little man” isn’t standing there, you don’t have to step aside for him to see Jesus. It’s that easy. Completely ignore him.

Recently, I laid out a list of important life practices with our church family. I’ve encouraged our people to go where Jesus goes, say what Jesus would say, and do what Jesus would do.  One item in the list of practices is “Teach others weekly how to be Jesus’ disciple.” A few posts ago, I mentioned I need to practice what I preach. We preachers are often bad at practicing what we preach. But you already knew that.

So I’m teaching my son what it means to be Jesus’ disciple. I do it in simple ways a 3-year-old understands. The same day we met the man at the picnic table, I told my son how Jesus gave us great weather for walking at the park. Jesus’ disciples thank him for simple blessings. We prayed together, “Thank you Jesus for the good weather.” It’s disciple-making, 10 seconds at a time.

I NEVER thought I’d be a pastor who spent much time befriending the homeless. I wasn’t against the idea. I just literally never thought about it. But there’s a lot of things I now thing about as I pastor in a diverse community.

Thankfully, my son is also learning one more way to be Jesus’ disciple…learning the names of people our society considers “the least of these.” For my sweet 3-year-old, meeting a homeless man is an exciting part of life with daddy, not something distasteful or annoying. He wants to tell Mommy who we met. He now thinks Daddy knows all the homeless men.  I believe Jesus would take the time to learn their names, so I take time to learn their names. And I’m teaching my son their names.

I cannot solve Homelessness. But I can befriend the homeless in my community, as Jesus has befriended me. As Jesus speaks with his disciples in John 15:15 he says, “I have called you friends.” And what friend doesn’t know your name?

Jesus befriended me, so I befriend them. Jesus knows my name, so I learn theirs.

 *Stock photo

“When first I heard His bles-sed voice,

Sin filled my heart with shame.

But now, forgiven, I rejoice–

He knows my name.

–“He Knows Me By Name” William M. Lighthall, 1908

 

Jesus Is Calling Me to the Laundry Room

washing-machine

I turned down an invitation to apply for pastoral openings at some good churches this week.
Our denomination has a title called District Superintendent. One of the many jobs they do is help churches on their district find a new pastor when the previous pastor leaves.
A DS from another state sent me an email. He asked me to send him my résumé. He heard one of my former ministry professors speak very highly of me. Of course, he’s never heard one of my long-winded sermons!
He requested I consider applying for some of the open pastoral positions in this other state.

A terrific recommendation and a request that I apply for some job openings. Isn’t that the clear voice of God saying it’s time to go pastor a different church?

In the Gospel of John, Jesus describes himself as the “Good Shepherd.” He says “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.”
I heard my Good Shepherd’s voice this week. But he was not calling me to another church. He was calling me to my laundry room.
Our church is 20 minutes away from the homeless shelters near downtown Fort Worth. You’ll always find homeless up there around Lancaster Street. But, if you pay attention, you’ll find many homeless in our neighborhood. They get cups of free water from the gas station, pick up leftover food as the restaurants close each night, and hide behind dumpsters. I see the “regulars” as my son and I walk to the dollar store. The regulars in our area know our church now.
When a new homeless person asks the Goodwill store across the street for help, the employees send them to the Parsonage (the house in church property where we live– where the “Parson” lives).

The “regulars” have used our church overhangs for shelter during the rain. They rarely join us Sunday mornings because crowds now make them jittery after years of living alone.

But they stop and talk to me as I work out in the yard. I sometimes pay them a little cash for odd jobs around our dilapidated church buildings. They mow the lawn, mop the floors, dig ditches, and throw away years of accumulated church clutter.

As they work, I make them a sandwich and wash their dirty clothes. It always takes two, sometimes three, wash cycles to remove the smell. If they have both light and dark clothing, I wash them separately to insure their darks aren’t covered with white fuzz balls after drying. As the second load waits by the washing machine, their smell overpowers our small laundry room. We open the window.

There’s a story about one of God’s ancient prophets. God said he would soon show himself to Elijah. As the prophet waits for God to appear, a cataclysmic wind “tears the mountains apart,” an earthquake strikes, and a sudden fire appears. But the Bible says the “LORD was not in them.” The Bible says God finally shows up to speak with Elijah in “a gentle whisper.”

Every apparent act of God…isn’t.

A homeless man’s clothes were in our laundry room when I received that email. But my Good Shepherd’s voice was not in that email. He wasn’t telling me to leave my current church.
Instead, I heard Jesus’ voice calling out from the laundry room. I heard him repeating the words he said 2,000 years ago…”whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me” (Matthew 25:40). Once again, Jesus said he did not come to be served, but to serve” (Mark 10:45).
And so, I washed the dirty clothes of a homeless man. Jesus washed feet. I wash clothes. I washed, dried, and folded them with care.
As I folded this man’s underwear, I suddenly pictured Jesus’ last supper with his disciples.
I pull the underwear from the dryer last. Will this man be embarrassed when he receives his clean underwear? I fold it and place it underneath other clothes. Where the disciples embarrassed when Jesus held their dirty feet in his hands? The Bible says “love covers a multitude of sins.” Did the human embodiment of Perfect Love try to cover each disciple’s wet, dirty feet from the view of other watching disciples? Would Jesus have hidden the underwear in the middle of the folded pile, as I just did?
Other pastors will receive an email similar to the one I read last week. ‘Their name came up…would they like to interview?, etc.’ A few pastors will hear their Good Shepherd’s voice in those emails. They will hear a call, like ancient Abraham, to leave a familiar home and follow God where He leads them. But, to borrow a phrase from Elijah’s story, the LORD was not in my inbox.
The email was flattering. But it was not the voice of God. I believe I already heard God’s voice 10 months ago say I would serve the people at my church for a very long time.

Most of us want God to show up in the windstorm or the fire from heaven. Am I the only one who reads into every big life event as some sort of special sign from God?
How easily I could have claimed God sent me a message, right there in my inbox. Finally! I’ll go pastor somewhere my family doesn’t have to use food stamps and Medicaid for survival. Thank you Jesus!

If you go looking for it, you’ll always find that “greener grass” on the other side of some fence. I spent last Tuesday morning praying about my family’s finances. I told God he had to do something to cover the extra expenses we’re incurring as we expect our second child in only a few days.
Maybe I could pastor somewhere else, where I don’t have beg God for money.
Kelly checked the mail Tuesday afternoon. She found a letter from the state of Kansas. They tracked us down even though we changed addresses twice. We have $320 in unclaimed property from the state.
And I heard my Good Shepherd remind me of Psalm 23….”He makes me lie down in green pastures.”

I need not search for greener grass on the other side of a fence. That’s God’s job. Jesus is my Good Shepherd. He will always lead me to green pastures. I need only follow his voice.
Jesus led me to pastor a church that now looks as diverse as our community. Jesus led me to a church building that now houses 3 other churches (soon to be 4), a funeral home that serves poor families, and an incomplete gym that serves thousands of meals to needy children each summer.
Jesus hasn’t mistakenly led me to the wrong pasture. I am exactly where he wants me, doing exactly what he intended. He knows our financial situation and will always provide what we need. He knows our building is leaking from that rainstorm He sent this morning. He knows the difficulties of continually serving poor people who can’t afford to repay us. My Shepherd is Good. He knows what he’s doing. I trust in the One who gave his life for me. And I will live in this green pasture until he leads me out of it.

As I type these very words, another homeless man’s clothes just finished the spin cycle in our donated washer. Jesus is calling me from the laundry room, “Go start another load.”

“I heard the voice of Jesus say,
“Come unto me and rest;
lay down, O weary one, lay down
your head upon my breast.”
I came to Jesus as I was,
so weary, worn, and sad;
I found him in a resting place,
and he has made me glad.”
— “I Heard The Voice of Jesus Say” 1846 Horatius Bonar